Wedding Day
by TheShippyQueen
Summary: Daisy is having doubts about marrying William, but can she really let everyone down and break his heart? A talk with Anna helps her to decide. Based at the end of S2, not spoilery really...


Title: Wedding Day

Rating: K+

Pairing: Anna and Daisy (with subtle A/B and D/W)

Summary: Set post final episode of series 2 (a guess) and AU but based on Daisy being rushed/forced into marriage with William.

Spoilers: Maybe for series 2, but I'm writing this AU!

WEDDING DAY

The sunlight cast golden shadows across the room, spreading out and chasing away those shadows of dawn, the shadows of war.

Daisy sat gazing at her reflection in the mirror, scrutinising her appearance as a scientist may study a bug or unknown creature. She frowned and then smiled, frowned and then smiled, sighing unhappily, it didn't matter what she did, she still looked the same: terrified.

Her hair was freshly washed and she was sitting in a chemise that she neither wanted nor suited. Lady Sybil had insisted on it, insisted that a bride should always wear the best on her wedding day and with that said, the deed was done, Daisy could protest no more.

"_Can't we just do it privately?"_

"_Of course we can't! I'm home from war and about to marry my girl, I want this to be bigger than any royal wedding!"_

In the mirrors reflection, Daisy could see her dress laid out, white and adorned with little lace daisy's in honour of her name. Again, it neither suited her nor did she want it. It had been Mrs Patmore's idea, she had joined together with Lady Sybil and soon Daisy was being forced into a fancy dress and therefore forced into a marriage.

"_I'm not sure, Mrs Patmore…"_

"_Nonsense, girl! He's a good man, he's loved you well, you should be happy!"_

But she wasn't.

He was a good man, but she didn't want to marry him! The thought of being his wife, of doing…wifely things…of spending her whole life with him, made her want to cry.

In a few hours, she would walk down the aisle and pledge herself, body and soul to a man she liked, not loved. How could she do it? How could she ever live with herself? How would she ever live?

The bedroom door opened softly and Daisy's heart hammered, fearing Mrs Patmore had returned to help her dress; it couldn't be time just yet, surely?

Instead she sighed in relief to see Anna standing in the doorway, a soft smile on her face. Even in the sunlight, Anna looked a little grey and Daisy felt a little concern.

"Hello!" Anna said, smiling warmly. "Mind if I help you get ready?"

"Of course not!" Daisy cried, relieved to have someone else with her, someone who wouldn't bully her and tell her what she should be thinking.

Anna stepped into the room and closed the door behind her; she inhaled deeply as if trying to hold back some feeling of nausea. Daisy couldn't help but smile and feel sorry for her all at the same time.

"Still feeling sick?"

Anna smiled weakly, her hand moving to her stomach to softly stroke the gentle swell that was now visible beneath her dress.

"Unfortunately, yes!" she said moving towards Daisy. "I can hardly keep anything down at the moment; everything makes me feel sick, well, in the morning at least."

Daisy watched her move closer and felt a pang of something shoot through her body. What was it? Jealousy? Anna had married the love of her life, had walked down the aisle just twelve months ago and had shone with true happiness. Daisy recalled that Anna had struggled to speak her vows, emotions too strong and she'd cried with happiness when it was announced that her and Mr Bates were now man and wife. Now, here she was, expecting her first child with the man she loved and how Daisy envied her.

When she said her vows, later that day, she would cry, but not for happiness but for the sadness of all she had lost. And…when it happened, as it would, how would she feel about having his child?

Anna was now standing behind her, her wedding ring glinting in the sunlight as she stroked at Daisy's hair and Daisy was fascinated, in a few hours she would wear one those and it wouldn't symbolise their love, it would symbolise her jail sentence.

"How would you like your hair?" Anna asked, picking up the brush and gently running it through Daisy's hair. "Shall I do it like Lady Mary's? You like how she wears her hair."

Daisy couldn't speak, her throat had clamped shut and all she could do was nod weakly at Anna, inwardly screaming out for help. She watched Anna brush her hair, the action slowly soothing Daisy, though it didn't take away the sickness in her stomach.

"Are you excited?" Anna asked, her eyes meeting Daisy's as she brushed out the full length of her hair.

Daisy wanted to speak the truth, to tell Anna, a woman who had always cared for her and all the other maids in the house, that she was terrified, that she didn't want to marry William. Anna would know what to do, Anna would be sensible and calm….Anna would sort everything…..

But the correct answer was, "Yes…excited and scared."

Anna looked up, a soft frown on her face. "It's only nat'ral to be scared, Daisy, it's a big step, but don't worry, it'll be fine. It'll be the happiest day of your life."

Anna's face went all wistful, obviously recalling her own wedding day and her own happiness. She had glowed that day, her blonde hair had shone brighter than the sun, her skin had glowed with love and she had looked like an angel walking down that aisle. How different Daisy would look.

"I suppose so," Daisy agreed with little conviction.

"Course it will!" Anna smiled, resting a hand on Daisy's shoulder and squeezing lightly. "There's no other feeling like it, walking down that aisle and seeing the man you love waiting for you."

The man you love….

Daisy's stomach flipped over with nerves and unhappiness at Anna's words and she swallowed hard, forcing down the swelling nausea that threatened to consume her. How had she got herself into this mess? She could hardly remember, it had all happened so quickly and she couldn't place the exact moment she realised that she was now trapped. Mrs Patmore had been so persuasive and Daisy hated hurting people, she couldn't let people down and so, foolishly, she'd gone along with it. And now, here she was, about to make a huge mistake.

"Anna?" Daisy asked as Anna returned her attentions to her hair, twisting segments into elaborate shapes. "Did you ever have…doubts…about marrying Mr Bates?"

Anna's face went all dreamlike and wistful again, "No, not once," she answered, and Daisy believed her. Anna suddenly looked up again, hands freezing in mid-air. "Daisy? Is everything alright?"

Daisy's hands suddenly began to tremble and a cold sweat spread throughout her body and she turned around on the little seat to face Anna, but not quite meeting her gaze. "How do you know if you love someone?"

Anna sighed a little and sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Daisy and taking her hands carefully in hers, squeezing softly. "You just know," she began, then seeing Daisy's expression, she continued, "When he looks at you, you just feel like you're the most beautiful creature in the world. You can't wait to see him again, you miss him when you're apart and every thought is for him. You work as a team, you know each other inside and out, everything is done together and you'd never have it any other way. Daisy, what's the matter?"

"And, you still feel that? Now, I mean, you still feel like that about Mr Bates?" Daisy pressed, ignoring Anna's question.

"Yes!" Anna laughed. "That doesn't change….sometimes I catch him looking at me and my stomach flutters and I can hardly catch my breath, just like it did before we married. He cares for me in so many ways, since I found out I was expecting, he has been so protective of me, he doesn't care that I look like death in a morning after being sick, he still tells me I'm beautiful and he makes me believe it. When we're apart, I think about him, he's my first thought in a morning and the last one at night," Anna's voice trailed off into a little laugh and she dropped one of Daisy's hands, resting it lightly on her growing stomach. "Once this baby arrives, things will be different, though our love won't, nothing will change that."

Daisy dropped her eyes, trying to avoid Anna seeing the panic and terror in her eyes. Tears began to well up in her eyes, betraying her to the world and to Anna. Anna's words made her realise she was making a dreadful mistake, she didn't love William, she didn't feel that way about him and was certain she never would. He was a friend, a good one, but that was it, he loved her, but she just didn't love him.

"Daisy?" Anna's voice was soft and concerned. She felt her hand touch her chin and tilt her face upwards. "Hey, what's all this? Why the tears?"

"I don't love him," Daisy said, the words spluttering and exploding through her lips.

"What?" Anna took a few moments to answer, a frown scampering across her face.

Anguish tore at Daisy's young features, the tears spilling down her cheeks and landing onto the chemise. "I don't love him; I don't want to marry him."

"Daisy, what are you saying? Of course you love him, you're marrying him!" Anna's voice was confused, her expression worried.

"I don't, I never loved him…oh, Anna, it's such a mess! What am I to do?" Daisy was pleading now, not caring that her face was staining with the endless tears.

Anna was trying to digest this information, her face contorting with a mixture of thoughts, still clinging to the hope that this was some sort of joke. "But…why agree to marry him?"

"B-b-because…it..it..it were never meant to get this f-far," Daisy sobbed. "I didn't want t-to, b-but Mrs-Mrs P-Patmore said I sh-should agree, send him off to war h-ha-happy."

Anna got up, her face deep in thought and began to pace the room, her hand resting on her stomach as she walked. Finally she turned back to the sniffling Daisy. "So, you agreed to marry him so he would go to war a happy man?"

Daisy nodded miserably. "He just assumed I loved him…I ki-kissed him, to make him feel better and he t-t-took it the wrong way. Then, Mrs Patmore said I couldn't break his 'eart, it'd break his sp-spirit."

"Daisy…" Anna groaned softly.

"She said I c-could back out later and that he might not come back anyway," Daisy whimpered, the memories flooding her mind and making her feel so miserable she wanted to crawl away and die beneath some rock.

"What?" Anna cried, aghast. "What a thing to say!"

"But it were true, weren't it? Many men didn't come back, but he did!"

"Daisy!" Anna gasped. "Careful what you're saying!"

"I'm so-sorry…I don't mean it…I just don't want ter marry 'im."

"So why not tell him when he came home?" Anna demanded, her tone angry.

Daisy sobbed again, Anna's anger making her feel even more miserable. "I couldn't! He were so 'appy, and I didn't want to hurt him, Mrs Patmore said I would love him, that it would come, but it hasn't, and it won't!"

Daisy broke down into floods of tears, her face in her hands and Anna could only feel sympathy for the misguided girl. "Oh, Daisy," she sighed, moving to sit back opposite her once more. She reached out and pulled the young girl into her arms, allowing her to sob out all her misery into Anna's shoulder.

"What am I to do, Anna?" she asked eventually, still sniffling but all her tears now shed.

"I don't know," Anna answered honestly. "But, you have to tell him, you cannot marry him with a lie. It's not fair on him, or you."

"But, he'll be heartbroken and everyone is coming to the wedding," Daisy sniffed.

"The people don't matter, but William does and you owe him this at least," Anna said firmly. "Daisy, you are a grown woman now, not a girl anymore, you have to take responsibility for your actions. You have to be honest with him."

"Mrs Patmore?"

"Mrs Patmore was wrong…though I'm sure she meant well," Anna sighed. "But, again, this is your life and you must make your decisions. You have to talk to William."

Daisy nodded miserably and smiled in thanks as Anna handed her a clean handkerchief. Mopping her eyes and wiping her nose she had to admit she felt better for speaking the truth out loud. She could sense that Anna was disappointed in her, they all would be, and it was by no means over yet, but at least she was being true to herself for once.

"Where is he?" Daisy asked, trying to recall his last words to her the previous night. She'd been so panicked, so confused she couldn't remember where he was staying.

"At our house, John is helping him to get ready," Anna said gently.

"Then, I shall have to go and speak with him," Daisy said, getting to her feet and looking about for some clothes to put on.

"Daisy," Anna began, "are you sure about this? It'll break 'is heart. Are you absolutely certain, because there's no going back?"

"It's wrong o' me to let him think I love him, when I don't," Daisy said with more confidence than she'd felt in a long time.

Anna sighed with sadness, "Then, hurry up, time's ticking on."

Walking out of the room, Anna by her side, Daisy's confidence soared, she suddenly felt free, suddenly in control for the first time in her life. Her resolve wobbled as she approached the little cottage where Anna lived with John, but watching how Mr Bates greeted his wife with love and devotion only made Daisy's determination stronger.

Though she would regret that look on William's face until the day she died, she didn't regret her words, only that she'd let it get so far. She couldn't face Anna or Mr Bates, couldn't bear their disappointment, but she knew she was doing the right thing, just the wrong time.

Mrs Patmore had raged at her, then sobbed, but Daisy was a changed girl, she no longer buckled and stooped beneath Mrs Patmore's wrath and upset, instead she calmly told her that her decision was final and she regretted the pain she had caused, but could not live a lie any longer.

Lady Sybil had been surprisingly supportive, she told her she understood and pressed pamphlets into her hands about women's rights and political movements. Daisy threw them away once Lady Sybil left, but she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

It wasn't that she didn't want to marry, she just wanted to marry for love, for true and deep love and one day she would find it, but for now, she was free, changed…she had grown up and it felt wonderful.


End file.
